The Butterscotch Diva Turns 40: Kimone's Story

Please note that the stats mentioned in this episode are incorrect, the correct statistics on women in Canada are disclosed below.

Kimone shares her perspective on turning 40, including misconceptions about aging, finding contentment in different seasons, and practical wisdom for women navigating this significant decade of life.
• Kimone describes herself as a daughter of the King of Kings whose identity stems from her faith in Christ

• Working as a corporate event coordinator after transitioning from the nonprofit sector

• Faith plays a central role in how she approaches life's transitions and challenges

• Common misconceptions about women over 40 include being "past your prime" and decreased fertility

• According to Statistics Canada over 16,000 women between the ages of 40-44 gave birth in 2023. 
• Over 75,000 women in Canada between the ages of 35-39 gave birth in 2023.
• Source: http://statscan.gc.ca 

• Finding contentment comes from relationships with God and meaningful connections with people

• Importance of financial education and savings: "Save, save, invest"

• Practical advice: Pay yourself first before handling other expenses

• Embrace whatever season of life you're in rather than comparing yourself to others
• Your goal should be to become a better version of yourself, not to become someone else

Find more episodes of Diva Tonight on Buzzsprout

 https:// divatonight.buzzsprout.com or email us at divatonight@buzzsprout.com
The information provided is from Statistics Canada https://statcan.gc.ca: (2003 Report)

Other information is from https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org 

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Kimone: Faith and Identity
• 2:35 From Nonprofit to Corporate Events
• 5:13 Faith Journey and Self-Reflection at 40
• 6:58 Misconceptions About Women Over 40
• 12:50 Finding Contentment in Every Season
• 17:52 Career Change and Personal Growth
• 26:57 Financial Wisdom for Your Future
• 37:02 Finding Joy Beyond Material Things
• 46:12 Episode Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi there, my name is Carlene and I'm the host of Diva Tonight, the podcast for women in their 40s who want to change their perspective on life and just perspective in general. So tonight I have with me in person my friend Kimone, and she is going to share her own personal journey with turning 40, what it's like, and just life in general. So, Kimone, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 2: 0:38

Well, hello, it is a pleasure to be here with you. Thank you so much for inviting me on your podcast, Carlene, and a little bit about myself. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, that is, I'm a faithful believer in Jesus Christ and my identity stems from that. I was born in Jamaica and I grew to adulthood here in Canada. I am a lover of people, plants, productions and I currently work as a Corporate Event Coordinator. I've been in that role for almost two years now and previously spent the four years prior in a nonprofit sector or administration.

Speaker 1: 1:26

So what was it like working in nonprofit versus where you're working now?

Speaker 2: 1:32

I loved working in nonprofit. It gave me the opportunity to wear different hats because it was a smaller organization there was just maybe three paid staff and everything else was volunteer driven. So it was a great experience for me to try different things. However, the salary was not the greatest, but I did love working there because of the purpose. It was a Christian organization and I really came into alignment with the vision of my boss, who was the director and also an evangelist of the organization as well, so that was great.

Speaker 1: 2:11

That was a great thing.

Speaker 2: 2:13

And, of course, you know you were helping people and I could see the impact that that was going to make, because it was in alignment to my beliefs as well. So it was great to my beliefs as well. So it was great.

Speaker 1: 2:24

You talk a lot about your beliefs and you you talk about your faith. You're obviously very faith-based in your lifestyle, the way that you carry yourself and the way that you speak. So have you always been so faith-oriented in your life? You know you go to church and you you read the Bible and you practice a Christian lifestyle. So has it always been that way?

Speaker 2: 2:48

Well, I grew up going to church and in a Christian home. However, I didn't always believe in God for myself. It was like secondhand belief. So my belief system initially stemmed from what my parents believed and what I knew from growing up to the understanding of who God was and, most importantly, jesus Christ, the son of God was on my own and I started believing that for myself. So there was always a form of religion or, I'd say, faith, in my life, but I didn't always practice or do those things that were in alignment with what the Bible says and what Christian actually looks like. That actually happens to me, where I came to believe it firsthand through firsthand experience from my own journey, and where that led me and how I could see that God came and intervened and just kind of poured out his grace and led me to a path that leads to life.

Speaker 1: 4:08

Wow, do you think that living a Christian lifestyle is harder than you know? That it's easier said than done. I think for me, like I'm more spiritual in my way of thinking and I believe in God, but I think it's a different lifestyle altogether. Like you know what I mean In terms of, like, the way you live your life, the decisions that you make, you probably think things through in a different way. Like, and now that you know, getting back to the theme of the show, we're focusing on women in their forties, now that you're in your forties, what does that make you think about in that way? Like you know what I mean Do you feel like you have a different perspective now? How do you feel at 40? Okay, you know. Okay, great, great.

Speaker 2: 4:54

Great, great, thank you. Kelly yeah. So give me a little grace. You know, nerves got me so yeah forties. Well, nerves got me so yeah 40s. Well, I have to tell you, I just crossed over into the land of the 40s.

Speaker 2: 5:15

Just maybe you know four months, so I don't have a lot of experience being 40, but what I can tell you is that I feel like I'm on a journey to more self-discovery as well as just self-acceptance to having turned 40. Not that it just happened when I turned 40, but on that journey to 40, that was something that was progressively happening and now kind of with that number attached not that the number changes who I am, but it just kind of has come with a little shift in my thinking in the sense that you know what you're getting older and just self-reflection of. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you want and what do you want your life to look like now that you're on the other side of coming out of your 30s and into your 40s?

Speaker 2: 6:10

You know you had asked me there are some myths and some misconceptions about women in their 40s. Those things to kind of bombard my mind but to kind of be clear headed about me and where I want to go, and not allowing that number to be something that identifies me, but where I want to go and where I want to be. Some of the misconceptions about your past year prime it's too late to make a career change. You're less fertile. You know there's possibility that your chances to conceive decrease. You should be married before 40. You know, I'm a single woman in my forties and I don't think that there should be any pressure on those things. So to answer your question without going on too much longer, I'd say, you know, just monitoring myself and having a lot of self-affection as I'm progressing through this other side into 40 and just trying to see what possibilities there are for my life and trying to design the life that I want.

Speaker 1: 7:20

Yeah, you talk about like the misconceptions about women in their forties, and like you're a single woman, and I can relate to that because I think it's not just society pressures us, it's just family to get the questions from family, like when you plan to get married, and I think like, in a lot of ways, we have to figure those things out for ourselves, whether it's now or never or just the whole thought process, right? So I think you, like you said you've only been in your forties for a few months, so I can't really like say certain things to that effect, but I don't think there's the emphasis. I think it's just like when you turn 40, like you reflect, like you always reflect at every age and I think even at 39, was reflecting.

Speaker 1: 8:04

I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like my last year of my 30s so like when you're reflecting on, like your last year before you turned 40, was there something in your mind where you're like this is where I want my life to go now? Were there things that you put more focus into?

Speaker 2: 8:21

well, just backtrack into what I just said about the misconceptions about, like, not being married or not having any children, because you're worried, you know, would I be able to conceive after 40? Just because of the statistics that you see and you hear in those myths. But actually I was reading, and more than 100,000 American women over the age of 40 give birth and over 80,000 women in Canada beyond their 40s give birth as well. ( Correction over 16,000. So I share those statistics. To say that that was one of the things maybe that I used to think about occasionally. It would cross my mind when I would hear certain things while I was approaching becoming 40. However, you know, I just share the statistics, so I know that it's possible, so I don't try to focus on those things.

Speaker 2: 9:18

But that was one thing that I didn't focus on it. But it did cross my mind about what happens when you get a little bit older and you're kind of coming out of your thirties. And then the other thing was and it's just because you know, sometimes you have people in your life that have the best intentions for you but they ask the question oh, is there anyone in your life, is there someone special? You know, when are we going to see a ring on their finger and all those different questions that come around sometimes as you get older and more seasoned in life and people don't see certain things relationally that maybe society has an expectation for you to have happening in your life at a certain age prior to your 40s. That was another thing as well I wanted to see and I hoped that in my 40s I would see a fulfillment of the desire to be married again. It's just been four months, so there's a lot of room for that gentleman to enter into my life where is he bring him out now?

Speaker 1: 10:30

um, it's funny that you say that, because I had this conversation with my cousin and I think when you're ready, you ask for it, like she said to me, she asked God like to bring her husband and she didn't expect the response would be so quickly because it was someone she dated before and he called the next day. Right, and so I think it's when you're, when you're ready, like everyone's asking you like when it's gonna happen. But I think we are, we're the people of our own journey in life, like we make the decisions, like on who we date, when we're ready to date, and maybe when we're dating the wrong person, it's preventing us from meeting the right person. Like you know, there's so many things right. Like I think it's like self-reflection and self-development too, like, and I think, like you talked about like statistics, about women, so I didn't really bring up the race thing, but you are another black woman like myself and we're both from the Caribbean and I think I'm butterscotch, okay so.

Speaker 1: 11:31

I'm good okay, so you're butterscotch and I'm caramel okay so I always used to say that I'm like I'm caramel. I'm not exactly. That was good. That was good so as a butterscotch diva, um, okay, but I mean that's not really important, but it is. It sets the precedence for like pregnancy and like. I think I just saw on the news this week that they're finally doing studies on like how black women like apparently we have more issues during pregnancy than like not to say other races don't have issues during pregnancy, but they're starting to look at that more. So like, I mean more conversations about it, more studies, research, that kind of thing. I guess I don't know how much you looked into it, but obviously we have other concerns too. You know what I mean. Like once we. There's the middle-aged thing. I guess I don't know how much you looked into it, but obviously we have other concerns too. You know what I mean. Like once we there's the middle age thing.

Speaker 1: 12:32

Like you know, middle age is like all these things that we have to look at more closely, right?

Speaker 2: 12:38

So one thing I'd say to that, though. Just you'd asked me earlier. You know if I think differently because of my faith, walk and all of that, and I do, and so, like even this topic that you brought up with, you know different statistics for women of color, for black women. I don't base my beliefs off of that, and so when I hear those things, I feel like it's just another thing for the emotion of fear to creep into your life and to maybe even cause you to move in a negative direction. Or we just talked about relationships, right, maybe choose the wrong partner that you're going to spend the rest of your life with because you're in a hurry to marry, because, oh, my goodness, look at these statistics I'm a black woman and I'm trying to have a child later, and already black women have so many complications in their pregnancy. What's going to happen to me? I need to hurry up, I need to find someone, I need to get pregnant. You know you put all this pressure on yourself and which may end up impacting you negatively.

Speaker 2: 13:48

Well, I say you know, because I believe that there's a God and that he has a way to protect you and keep you from things that are told that this is how they're going to be in society. I don't subscribe to those things. I believe that with God, anything is possible and he's able to make me have a pregnancy that will carry full term with as little complications as possible. But if I enter into the mindset of something happening oh, there could be all these convocations Fear may cause such stress on my body that those things may come to fulfillment. And so what I'm saying is I try not to let that affect my mindset and my perspective when it comes to those things. So I don't look at being a woman of color, I just look at being a woman in the kingdom of God in this world, and that with him anything is possible, and I believe that for everyone you know.

Speaker 1: 14:57

I don't think I knew that in terms of like your belief system because, like you said, the news, a lot of things, are like in terms of negative um information that we are constantly I guess what's the word oversaturated with, or like like it's always there, it's in the. If it's not on the news, it's on your news feed on Facebook, it's on Instagram, and then you are. You get to choose what you allow, right, and you're saying your faith is possibly the reason why you have a different mindset. So, yeah, now that, like, you're thinking about this next chapter in your life, do you still want to have kids? Is that something important to you? Like I know?

Speaker 2: 15:38

yeah so for me personally, I kind of had to ask my question that you're in your mid twenties, you know, you're thinking, you're seeing, you're starting to see.

Speaker 2: 15:50

I find around that timeframe I was seeing a lot of my girlfriends starting to get partnered up and getting married.

Speaker 2: 15:58

And then it was happening again when I was turning my thirties and then now into my forties, and so I really had to sit down with myself and just reflect and just ask myself those difficult questions Like if I can't have children, am I going to be okay with that?

Speaker 2: 16:16

If I don't meet the right person, am I going to be okay with that? And so I personally came to a place where I said you know, if I am able to have children and because I meet the right person, because I don't believe in intercourse and sexual intimacy before marriage, so that would be when I meet the right person, that that would happen Then if we can have children and it happens naturally, then I would be overjoyed. But if it happens so that we cannot conceive and I cannot conceive and have a child, I will be more than content with that, because I have been blessed to have little people in my life through my friends and friends that are like sisters and and siblings and others around me. So I've had that exposure and I know that there's pros and cons to both sides of the spectrum, to having kids and not having kids, but I also know there's also the gift in being able to have them and being able to return them to their parents as well, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 17:25

So for me, I kind of settled it within myself. That's what I'm saying to you now. I hope that still will be true when that day comes. I believe it will be, but I think, you know, interesting to see.

Speaker 2: 17:39

Yeah, I think sometimes we have the these ideas about what will make us happy, or when I finally get this, I will, whatever, fill in the blank, you know, but is that thing really going to be what brings you contentment and what makes you feel whole?

Speaker 2: 18:00

Or, you know, I believe some women, they believe that if they can't have children, they're less of a woman, and those that do maybe feel more than or feel that they fulfill their call as a woman. But it depends on what you're choosing to define you. And so I think the area of childbearing could be something as well where we're looking to find fulfillment in something but or someone, which may not necessarily be the case, because you know, if you've ever been around some moms, it is a joy and they love their children, but it also comes with its own set of disappointments, right, and so maybe initially that person thought, oh, when I have this baby, I'm going to be happy, I'm going to feel fulfilled. But then that doesn't happen right, and so I think that's just another one of those things where we just the next thing, the next thing, the next thing. But I think we may be able to find the most joy in finding contentment in every stage of our journey.

Speaker 3: 19:13

Diva Tonight Glamour for your ears. This is 40, a female perspective.

Speaker 1: 19:20

Speaking of contentment, looking back on your life so far, what are you most proud of? What makes you happy? Come on, you know, like you were just talking about looking for happiness and maybe the wrong places, or just looking like you know what I mean if I like it's, it's like me. Oh, if I get this job, I might be happy. It may not be the case, because you don't know what those people that you work with are going to be like. Like all these things. So for yourself and in your just thought process, like what makes you happy now? Like it doesn't matter about the age thing, like you know, what are the things that you realize in your life so far that make you happy?

Speaker 2: 20:00

that they find contentment with.

Speaker 2: 20:03

I'd say not everyone may agree with this but again, just because of where I'm coming from, regarding my faith, the fact that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I have a faith community has been so integral and so helpful in my life.

Speaker 2: 20:23

And I find the most contentment when I'm able to connect with God and the people that I believe that he has gifted me with in my life and it's not superficial things I've come to understand, but it's the people that make life worth living and when you get to share moments with those people as well.

Speaker 2: 20:49

Because you know, sometimes I think you know if I get that outfit, you know that new outfit, I'm gonna look so great, I'm gonna be so happy and you know what? I am happy, I get that outfit, but it only lasts for so long. But those memories when I can reflect on the times when I was maybe out to dinner with some close friends and there were some jokes shared and some things that happened, some new memories that were made, and you think back on it in your times of quiet or a moment of loneliness, you think on that and that makes you smile like that is a really great gift, and so I guess my answer to summarize would be that where I'm finding contentment now is in God and in the relationships that I have with God and with those that he has gifted me with in my life.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Yeah, I like that for sure, Especially when you talk about, like the memories that you have with your friends. Like you know, we've had our memories where we like I remember when we went to Ikea and we tried on, like we tried every bed in the showroom Cause remember I was like looking for the great mattress.

Speaker 1: 22:03

And I don't know, I guess from years ago, like shopping at Ikea. I'm like, I don't know, I guess from years ago, like shopping at Ikea. I'm like I can't believe like the best mattress is like the most expensive one, right? So like we have those memories where I think back of like when I used to work at Ikea and now how I'm like, wow, I had a really good, you know deal at Ikea.

Speaker 1: 22:22

Like you know how much I used to pay for food and stuff you know like you think back to those memories, but no, it's fun, like when we did that too. So it's like you said, it's the memories that you have with your friends and, as someone who's single myself, yeah, I think it gives you more time to reflect. We don't have to plan everything. Like we can make certain decisions like if you want to, just yeah, tomorrow. If you want to go on a drive, you want to to Niagara. You don't really have to make sure that, okay, who's taking care of the kids, who's picking them up from school, like all these things. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, but I mean, like you said, like we have a different perspective. In that way, it just changes your whole yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:03

It's true, and I'd say you know we get to embrace whatever season we're in. You know we're talking about being in our 40s and all those things like that's kind of the theme and the thread that we're on this right so far in her forties, a wife in their forties, a single parent in their forties, wherever you are in your forties or in your thirties or twenties or wherever, I think what is important is get into that place where you can embrace the season that you're in. They're not. It may not all be good, it may not all be things that will make you happy. There may be some sad moments. There may be, you know, some depressing moments or moments where you feel stuck or whatever else.

Speaker 2: 23:56

It is fill in the blank, but embrace it, because life is made of these ebbs and flows. And you know, I don't know if this is someone else's quote or anything, but I like to say you know, if we never had rainy days, we would never get to really appreciate those sunny days. Look at us right now. We live in Canada. We're coming out of the struggle of winter. I would say it's a struggle, it's a fight because spring tries to break through, but then boom, here comes the winter storms, when you think that you're in the midst of spring and that's life right.

Speaker 2: 24:35

We get hit with those warm days and you feel so great because that sun is shining, you're getting that vitamin D. And then you get, bam, you're hit again with those ice storms that kind of isolate you and keep you locked in, right, and you can equate that with the seasons of our lives as well. But we embrace that because we know there's hope. And there's hope because you know, okay, winter's going to end at some point and at some point there's going to be spring.

Speaker 2: 25:06

And so it gives you that moment to move on. So, yeah, embrace the season that you're in.

Speaker 1: 25:11

Right, right, yeah, it's definitely is. When you talk about the season, like the changes in life, like ups and downs and ebb and flows, and I don't know I, I it's interesting. I was listening to a podcast today. She said you shouldn't worry about if you're doing it right, if you're doing life right, like if you're not. Because I guess we like society, like I think it's in TV shows, it's in books, movies, this whole idea of like when you're in your twenties you finish school, when you're in your thirties you should be married, and like you, you know. So all those things, just because they're doing it doesn't mean that you're doing it wrong. Like, we all have our own path and like it's the people that you, that you hang around with, that support you in your decision and we're like push you to keep on that path, because sometimes you fall off the path or whatever. Your interest is right. So like, even, like, even with you.

Speaker 1: 26:06

Like you went back to school, I did yeah, right, and I did yeah. Like you didn't do. Like me, I didn't. I, you know, I went to university in 2003 and then I even changed my major when I was at York and I graduated in 2008. And like, when you're 24, you don't think about like, oh, the stock market crashed, this means I might not be able to find work. Like you know what I mean. Like so, when I look back on those things, certain things are like wow, like you know what I mean, you don't think about the impact, but like, even for you, like you went to school later on in life.

Speaker 1: 26:40

How was that, like, what was your reason behind? Finally study event planning, right, yeah I did so.

Speaker 2: 26:49

As you say, we don't necessarily do things right or by the books, according to maybe what is the norm of society always?

Speaker 2: 27:01

Our life doesn't always go that way, it's's not always. First comes love, then the baby carriage right, sometimes the baby carriage comes because there was love and things get a little bit out of order, and so we know that that's a part of life. And so, yeah, for myself, I had tried going to school for higher education when I was younger, but I would try and I just could not quite identify where I wanted to be and I just felt like it was almost like a waste of time because I didn't have a clear direction. So I'd start a course and then I wouldn't finish it part way because I'd lose interest or try something else, and so I just worked for a few years. I did some upgrade in here and there, but nothing that was to get me a diploma or to finish a complete program until maybe about what was that like five years ago now, where I had worked in multiple positions in different roles over the years and after that same non-for-profit position that I worked in that I shared about earlier the one with the low salary.

Speaker 2: 28:08

It actually the salary was low, but it opened up a lot of opportunities to me. So sometimes it's really not about the money in the position that you're working in, but after working there, I had exposure to event planning in my role and I thought, you know, I really enjoyed doing that, and so when I thought about what my next steps was going to be, I thought, you know, I'm going to go back to school and I'm going to learn about this. And I ended up doing it and I got it was just a really short program. It was for a year, because I'd actually done another program before that and so I was able to fast track it and I completed it and within five years I ended up with two diplomas. So I think it's just timing. Again, it's a season when are you? Do you know yourself a little bit more to make certain decisions Right? And so for me, I didn't fall in line with that. In your 20s, you, you finish school and then you buy a house and all of that.

Speaker 2: 29:11

Right it was a little bit out of order, but it was my personal journey and I think that's what we all have to recognize as well. We're not comparing ourselves to others. We are comparing our younger self to ourself now and our goal, I believe, should be to get to our better self, the person that we want to be, not who somebody else is. I think it's great to have a mentor or to look up to somebody in the position where you want to be, so that you can kind of order your steps to follow or understand the trajectory that got them there, but I don't think our goal should be to be that person. Our goal should be to be ourselves, but the better version of ourselves.

Speaker 1: 30:03

Yeah, that is very interesting because I was following your little Facebook page. You know what Like it's? Yes, so I was looking at.

Speaker 1: 30:12

I know there's not a lot on there, but I was looking at some of your pictures. I'm like, oh my God, come on. Like you know, like your signature smile, it's always smiling. No, no, it's true, it's true. It's like they say, smiles are contagious. But you know how you're talking about. You're competing not with others, but with yourself. So there's a quote that you have, that you've posted on your Facebook, that says that so it is. It's saying that you do manifest that or that's your belief. So obviously it's. Yeah, like you said, there's not a ton of stuff. I can't like weed anything out. You know, like some people go on there to find out, like, if there's something interesting about the person, or to get them know them a little bit more. But I think the one thing that was interesting is reading that and then hearing you reiterate it.

Speaker 1: 30:55

So there you have it right, I'm not very active on social media, so I know, I know that's how, like you know, sometimes you figure fine little things on there. As a researcher like I'm always like looking prepared, well, preparing myself, right. So when you talk to people, like you find different things about them and like looking back. You said that five years ago, that's when you decided to go back to school for something that you enjoyed doing so when you were younger, what did you like to do? Was it something similar Like? Because they say I found with a lot of people I've interviewed that there was something that they enjoyed doing when they were children that they still enjoy doing now. And it's like when you go back and you think what did they like to do? Like me, I love to read and I like talking, and so I'm just like.

Speaker 2: 31:49

You know what I mean. So you're laughing, but it's true I got in a lot of trouble, right, You're in the right field.

Speaker 1: 31:53

Right, so there we go. So like I could have been a writer, who knows. But what did you like to do when you were a kid? Was there something like your favorite subject, like what was come on, like when she was younger?

Speaker 2: 32:05

Yeah, I am not in that role right now, but I do love to sing, I love music, and I think if I really search through my memories, I can see where hospitality has always been a part of who I am am just that willingness to embrace others and create comfortable space for them, an environment where they feel accepted and that they can relax and have a great experience. You know, at the time I didn't have different venues to host things at, but even going back into my twenties, I always wanted to open my home and if I could prepare something, even if it was just crackers and cheese and hot chocolate you know how it is sometimes then I would willingly do that. So, yeah, I do love music. I was a part of my church's worship team for a few years and so, yeah, the love of music has always been there. But I can also see that heart that I have for hospitality has been a thread in my life as well. So there you go.

Speaker 1: 33:14

Yeah, no, it's always like the things that you like to do, like you always revisit that if you need to, like look at your career path and like where you're going and as we talk about career, like, and now that you're in this role, like, what have you learned about the industry itself? Working in that industry? Oh, in the hospitality? Yeah, working in hospitality, like I mean, it's different, you know, like I have learned that it is a small world.

Speaker 2: 33:44

The world is not as big, or my world and Canada, here in the city that I live in, is not as big as I thought it was. In hospitality I find that there's so many people that you didn't realize that you were connected to, that you become connected to and then you see them again. It's like they're everywhere and it's like everybody knows everybody, and it's just from the side that I've seen it from. I know that others have seen it from a more negative light, but even from my experience in the programs that I did at school and now to where I'm working, and I go to different networking events and different educational series where you have professional development, I just have really great experiences because I just meet awesome people. And I don't know if that's a blessing that has followed me, which I'm grateful for, but it's great.

Speaker 2: 34:43

I love this industry and I believe that this industry has some of the warmest people in it and I reciprocate that, and so for me the experiences have been great in industry. As you know, we were hit with COVID and all that and that really had a big impact on the industry, but it's bouncing back and better than ever and just it is one of those industries that just connects people and, as I mentioned earlier when I was telling you about myself, people are one of my passions, and so it is great to be in a place where you feel like your gifts can shine.

Speaker 1: 35:22

You said like it's really is a small world. So one of my teachers at Humber said don't burn any bridges, because you just never know who you're going to run into, which is true or there might be a link. So like, even like at the job interview, I remember one where the person who was the HR manager who was interviewing me her husband works for the company I work for now. I'm not going to mention names, but it's just like you said you work for now. I'm not going to mention names, but it's just like you said, you just never know who you're going to run into. Like you just have to keep that in the back of your mind because even though you're not working with that person now, you might run into them or they might be able to help you, right it's true, yeah, it's so true.

Speaker 1: 36:01

So I think, in the end, like when, as you reflect on your 30s, what would you say to your like yourself? You know, when you reflect back and you're like, oh, if I had to do it again or if I had to change things in terms of like yourself and your 30s, what would you say to yourself now?

Speaker 2: 36:21

Oh, my goodness, In my 30s, in my 30s, yeah, I. First of all, I just want to say how awesome wouldn't it be to be ourselves in those seasons. They've shaped us and given us the character that we have today, and so I wouldn't change anything, because it's shaped who I am. But stay in that. To answer your question regarding what would I say to my 30 year old self, if I could change anything, it would be financially save, save, save. Try to keep what you have. You don't have to spend it all. Make sure you learn about investments. That's one thing that time helps with, because the earlier you start investing, the greater your return will be on your investment later, and so that's the advice that I would give anybody that's listening in their thirties.

Speaker 2: 37:37

Right now save, save, invest. Financial education is a gift, and for you to apply it in your life, I think that will just take you in places. Like you know, we talk about what do we want for our lives, and in this season and entering into your forties and whatever age you're entering into, the thing that I have at the forefoot, the foremost of my mind, is that one day, I won't have the same strength that I have right now, and am I financially ready when that time comes, and do I have all the investments and do I have all the savings that I'm going to need for retirement? So that's why it's key and so, yeah, come on, save, invest, learn about financial practices and apply them.

Speaker 1: 38:29

That's what I would say, yeah, you know what. That is good advice. And I think, as, as women, we we have to consider that like even when you do have, like find your person or you're like, you still have to think about. I think there's that misconception now, like as women, I think we're stronger now and like it's good when you have that investment, like, and so even for myself I, my mentor, said to me like investment, like money's an art and a science, like there's a system to follow a lot of things and following that system, or like if we didn't learn it, like me and you, like, obviously I didn't learn it from my parents, so I have right, and then you just have to teach yourself. So that's really good advice Because even when you say it, it's reemphasizing in my mind, like what I want to work on in this, in the season right, right, it's not even the season of being 40.

Speaker 2: 39:22

It's just the season of life, Like life right, of course, and it's always something that we should be working on.

Speaker 2: 39:27

Unfortunately, it's not even been emphasized in school as much you think you know we're learning math and all these different things that financial education is really key and, as I just mentioned, the younger you are when you can get it. Some people are blessed with parents that are just that financially savvy and they instill it into them, and others, naturally, are gifted with that desire to save and keep and understand that quickly. But for those that are not gifted with that or doesn't have that natural ability to do it, I think it's great to glean and learn wherever you can, and that's kind of what I've been doing as well. I've taken some financial classes and those around me that I see have that gift. I just observe them and try to learn from them, and so you know education is not just from school, but it's the education in life, right, and those around you wherever you can get it from, and application. If we know things and we don't apply them, what good is it for?

Speaker 1: 40:36

us. Yeah, I guess it's kind of like that routine, like everyday routine, like you know, like fitting that into your daily routine or like a habit, right, Like it takes a while to grow a habit a good one or a bad one, right? I love how you put that.

Speaker 1: 40:53

The good or the bad habit right, I know we all have our bad habits. It makes me think about just the constant reminder in life that we have to give ourselves, and as women in our forties, it's like save in life that we have to give ourselves, and as women in our forties, it's like save, save, save. Which is so true because life happens, emergencies come up, things come up that we, we don't always foresee, and it's always like when you do the same thing over and over again, and it's like being prepared or planning is so important.

Speaker 2: 41:22

So it's true, and I'll just add one more thing to that, because it's something that I'm reapplying in my life. If there's one thing that's kind of hit me back in the head of that I should be practicing, and it's just paying yourself first, you know right, you get that paycheck and you're going to pay your bills.

Speaker 2: 41:43

You know you put it on your budget. Make sure one of those budget items is to pay yourself a percentage from that salary, because no one's going to give it to you. I mean, if you're married, maybe you'll have help that way. If you have wealthy parents or there's some kind of generational wealth, that's helpful. But unfortunately that's not the case for all of us, and so even taking that little bit and paying yourself before you pay the rest of the bills, it will go a long way 10 percent.

Speaker 1: 42:15

I think. That's when one of the dragons said that I forgot his name but yeah, 10 percent. Like I think I don't know if you've seen it but he was talking about his mom and he had no idea that she had invested money like since he was a kid. And so when they called him down to the like, the lawyer called and he's like, oh there's, your mom set aside money for you. And he couldn't believe, like he didn't say the amount, but he was like shocked because she was investing money for years, like even though she was married and everything she was putting money aside for him. When he got older or anything happened to her. So, right, you know what I mean. So even at that time, yeah, just doing that like it's important for, I guess, the your future self, right, so that we can retire comfortably, right, yeah, so now I think we don't talk about it enough.

Speaker 2: 43:04

I think the topic of money is so taboo.

Speaker 2: 43:08

Still, you know you would think there's so many other things that should really be kept private.

Speaker 2: 43:16

That is not, but something like money and sharing those resources and those tips and those things to help you to become financially richer, and you know it helps in life as well. And we don't talk about it enough or we feel like, oh, I can't share with that person that I'm struggling, that I'm not sure how I should spend my money or how will I get more or how can I cause it to increase. You know, there's no shame in something that you don't know how to do. I think we are here for each other. It's getting over ourselves as well, and I think maybe that's one of the things that come as we become more seasoned in life, to be in your forties, I'm not sure, but for me, I just realizing like I like I can't be too prideful about things that I don't know and I don't understand. I have to be able to trust that community that I've built, that I do trust to share those things with, and it'll make me a better person in general, as well, those are some insightful words, some great advice.

Speaker 1: 44:26

Right, and I could even take the that advice for myself. Like I think we all can, because we like when you're changing your how do you say trajectory or you're like the way your life, you want your life to be, you need those constant reminders. And like you need to like, even if you have a mentor or someone that like you know, teaching you about, like money, because there are people who follow the system or did it and they have advice to share Like, and I think sometimes we're in that, in that mindset, where we don't want that advice or we don't want to be reminded. Like it's kind of like your parents scolding you for doing something wrong and you're like it's like being disciplined right With everything in life. So doing something wrong anyway, it's like being disciplined right with everything in life. So I think it's important to look at that too, right, and, yeah, it's a it's great that you've shared your experiences in life and like your journey and I think it'd be interesting just to see, like at the end of the year, like right, how, how you like, what your perspective is. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 45:26

I think it's like a whole year in 40s. That's good. Come on A whole year. I've had a whole year, right. So I just turned 41 not too long ago and I think it's like yeah.

Speaker 2: 45:37

Right, so happy belated.

Speaker 1: 45:39

Right. Anyways, I'm Carlene and this is Diva Tonight with Kimone Clunis, and follow me on Instagram at Diva. On the radio, it's Diva with two I's and if you want to send a text, you can Divatonight. buzzsprout. com. Tell me what you think about investing in your 30s, like you know what your opinion is. Thank you for listening. I'm Carlene and this is diva tonight.

Speaker 3: 46:12

We'll be back. Send us a message on instagram at diva underscore tonight.