A Life-Changing Trip To Kenya And The Lessons It Left Behind- Phebe Trothman

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A three-week trip to Kenya with no phone, a heavy heart, and a sick parent back home can change what you think “enough” means. That’s where Phebe Trotman begins, and the story doesn’t let go. Phebe is an athlete, soccer player, Hall of Fame inductee, author, and entrepreneur, and she joins me to unpack how service, sacrifice, and simple generosity can reset your priorities fast. We talk about the moments that still live in her body years later, including the kind of gratitude you feel when a community gives from what little it has.

From there, we shift into sport and the athlete mindset. Phebe shares how soccer shaped her identity, why the team dynamic matters, and how the discipline of training carries into mental health, routines, and real life. We swap Olympic memories, talk about role models from Pelé to Donovan Bailey, and explore why watching someone pursue a goal can light a fire in your own lane even if your dream looks totally different.

We also get practical about resilience and decision-making through Phoebe’s mantra and book series, Never Quit On A Bad Day. She breaks down what it really means: don’t make a permanent decision from a temporary emotional place. Then we dig into entrepreneurship, real estate curiosity, building an online business after a layoff, and an honest conversation about network marketing, due diligence, and what separates hype from a real business. We close with the realities of life in your 40s: clearer boundaries, deeper self-knowledge, grief, community, and the surprising aches that show up along the way. If you care about resilience, gratitude, personal growth, women’s wellness, athlete mindset, and building a life that feels aligned, you’ll find something here to take with you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

If you'd like to read the book or connect with Phebe Trotman, check out her website at:

https://neverquitonabadday.com

Email: Divaontheradio@gmail.com 

Transcript

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Welcome And Guest Introduction

Speaker 0:01

You're listening to Diva Tonight with Carlene Humphrey, a relationship podcast with a focus on life, love, and friendship. Welcome to Diva Tonight.

Carlene 0:13

Hi, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight. I have with me the lovely Phoebe Trotman. She is an athlete. She plays soccer. She's also a Hall of Fame inductee and the author of a series, Never Quit on a Bad Day. And she is also an entrepreneur. And we were just chatting about all the things, right? So, Bibi, thanks for joining me on Zoom, you know?

Speaker 3 0:45

Yeah, no, thank you. I'm excited for this conversation. It's already been good.

Carlene 0:49

Yeah, me too, for

Kenya Trip And Perspective Shift

Carlene 0:51

sure. So I'm wearing a t-shirt. You can't really see it, but it's got like Uganda. It's from Uganda. My sister went like a few years ago. And I heard that I heard that you went to Kenya. And I thought that was so interesting because not it's not every day you meet someone that was like, yeah, I went to Kenya and it was so great. So what was what was that trip like for you?

Speaker 3 1:13

Kenya was a life-changing, absolutely transformational experience. I am so thankful that I went when I did. I have had on my heart for years, I think through my mom, my mom has always had like had sponsor children in different parts of the world. And so I kind of took that on as well. I had a sponsor child in different countries and I always wanted to visit and you know go to a country where I could serve and help and experience and just you know be part of it. And it's so interesting how everything worked out with this with it, because I went to my mom's church one night. They had a fundraiser called Aroma of Africa, and basically it was a dessert night, and they do fundraising, and they had people share who went to Kenya or one of the past mission trips, they kind of share their experience. And so I just felt this tug on my heart because I had wanted to go for so long. And so afterwards, I just spoke to the pastor and I introduced myself and I just said, Hey, like the next trip I'd love to go. I just put it out there. And it's funny because he's like, Okay, great, I'll we'll keep you posted. And they had an upcoming meeting and it was on a Sunday, but typically I coach Sundays, and I live in Vancouver. We got hit with a random snowstore, so I wasn't able to coach. So I was able to go to this meeting and I find out that it's actually like you're on the team, you're going type of meeting. It wasn't a like info, and I was like, whoa, whoa, wait, like I didn't know anybody. It was a small group of people. I was like nervous but excited and just trusting that it would be all that it was. And it was so amazing. I mean, it was it was tough leaving. I'll just share this a little backstory because um my dad had been diagnosed with prostate metastatic prostate cancer about, I think it was it was months before the trip. And so I was tempted not to go because time is just so precious when you're going through um experiences like that with your loved ones. And so, you know, we just all trusted and he encouraged me to go. And it was hard being away. We were gone for three weeks, no phone, no communication other than a blog post that we would all post and people, our families could comment on it. And I have to just say it was, I encourage people if there's any tug on your heart to go to another country, do it because the people there were absolutely beautiful, and it just put in perspective what is really important, which is being with your loved ones. It's we have so much to be grateful for. I mean, we could spend the whole time talking about some of those experiences, but just even to give context for one thing. I remember this one woman who was affiliated with the school that we went to, because we went to build a classroom out of school, and we did a bunch of other kind of things to help the school. And and this one woman literally saved her wages for a month, for one month, so that she could welcome us into her home, which was like kind of a hut, and she could prepare this meal for us. So I it just all that to say to the listeners, it's like whatever you have is enough to make an impact with the people around you. Because we, you know, so often here in in North America, it's like, well, I need a bigger house or I want this or a nicer car or this or that and all these things when it's not about that, it's about your heart and just to be able to make an impact with the people around you. And I never forgot that because one month of wages this woman saved to be able to host us in her house. And we have so much here that we can just be grateful for. So I came back such a changed person in the sense that really, you know, I've always been a person that's gratitude's important, and spending time with friends and family has always been in my core. That being said, it it went even deeper from experiencing that moment in Kenya. How long ago was that trip? That was actually in 2011. So it's been, you know, it's been some time, but I like everything is like it's you talk about it as if you just went there. I know. Like I will. And when I say 2011, it's like, yeah, oh my gosh, that's a long time. But it does feel like it was it wasn't that long ago because just because of the impact and just the the children. I remember we brought them school supplies, like we did fundraising here, and we brought different school supplies. And the how excited these children were. They were dancing and singing when we gave them books. And then I stop and pause and think about here and how many kids would be like, I don't want to go to school. And it's like, these kids are just so grateful for every little thing that you give them because it's not the same as you know, us. We go into the bathroom, we turn on the faucet, and there's water. This school didn't even have water, they had to walk down this hill and walk back up it, half of them without even having shoes to go to a river to be able to get water that we wouldn't even think about even bathing. Like it's just such an eye-opening experience of everything that we have. And and I've just come back when I came back again. I I went as a what I would say a pretty grateful person, but when I came back, it was to the next level.

Carlene 5:53

Absolutely. Yeah, that's a it sounds like a very powerful trip. Obviously, it had a deep impact. And I was just thinking of the timeline, I'm like, 2011, where was I? I think well, I was at Humber, Humber College, like Oh, no, wait, you went to Humber, okay. Yeah, I did. Okay, trips are moments that

Soccer Roots And Team Mindset

Carlene 6:09

leave you feeling that way. And I I think the one thing, I'm gonna tie this in because you are an athlete. You know, for me, I'm an athlete too. I did sports all throughout high school. I played soccer too, like yourself. And I I will do a shout out to my coach, Miss Bayam, because when you're an athlete, you remember. I don't know, I don't know if you remember any of your drills, but my coach used to make us run drills. Like you do drills with every sport, but I remember like in my um, was it high school? In my high school, the stairs go all the way to the third floor, and I just remember I'm like, Miss Bayam, I'm just she make us run all the way up the stairs, then down. And like, you know, I'm just so winded, but I just as an like you get, you build the endurance up. And like, as I think back, I think organized sport was like a great thing for me. I also danced. So, as someone who played soccer as such a young age, what was the influence for you to focus on soccer? Like why?

Speaker 3 7:11

Yeah, so I started playing soccer because my older brother played really, and I was kind of the little sister that had to go to his practice, well, not his practices, but his games because my parents would be there. And so I was kind of that little sister watching. And I guess I told my parents I wanted to play. I don't actually remember saying those words, but I do remember I was on a team. Um, I was on I started off playing on an all-boys team. I was the only person of color and a little girl on all boys team. And you know what though? It was fine because they accepted. I mean, I was into it. I was I was used to having my older brother, older cousins that would I would play with. So being around the boys was fine. And I just loved playing. I absolutely love playing. Eventually, I ended up on a girls' team and just continued to play. And I think a big part of it is I love the team aspect of it. I love to work with other people to accomplish a common goal. And that's still in, you know, part of my core being is I love when I can collaborate and do things with other people because it's it's fun. You get to celebrate someone else's greatness and work together to accomplish whatever you're looking to accomplish. So soccer has just always been part of what I've done. I've done other sports as well. I ran track, I did field events in track and field, I played basketball, I played volleyball, and I played those in kind of junior high. And then I just kind of gravitated towards soccer and ended up soccer being my primary sport. But I definitely have a love for sport in general for so many things that you just shared. I mean, sports give you so many life lessons. It's so much bigger than just, you know, the sport that you play. It's all the life lessons that you learn as an athlete that transfer into life lessons that will help you in every single area of your life in terms of direction and endurance, you know, dealing with hard stuff, right? It's fitness. It's funny, I was laughing as you're saying, running up the stairs because I'm going back in my own memory of fitness, like testing and things we had to do that were, they were hard. They were challenging, but it makes you stronger. And that strength is what helps you in other areas of your life too.

Carlene 9:09

Yeah. You know what with uh mental health and everything, I think the sports were very helpful. And I I don't know, like it probably gave me the drive because some of my friends in school, I remember them saying, How do you do it all? Because I I played sports and I danced too. And so, and and then keeping up with your schoolwork, but I think it was it was that like drive, like you know, having that routine and being a part of that. And as I hear you talk about it, it makes me go back to the days of like I love the Olympics and the Olympics is on now. But yeah, for me, my favorite announcer was Brian Williams. I remember watching him and being like, I love this guy's voice and the coverage. And I used to get fixated. And I and I still love to watch the Olympics now, but I think as a kid, when you're watching it, everything seems so heightened. And, you know, for you as an athlete, was there someone that like other than your brother, was there someone that you watched that made playing sports like a motivator for you?

Finding Motivation And Role Models

Speaker 3 10:13

I really get motivated. I mean, just seeing you're talking about Olympics, like just watching athletes compete at the highest level and just knowing a glimpse of what they they put in in terms of the time and effort and energy, I absolutely love that. That to me is just it's so inspiring. I get inspired though, watching anyone who goes after something and pursues it and hits their goals in terms of like, you know, even watching a movie and just knowing that though that those actors, everything that they put in to get to where they are just really does fire me up. That being said, as a young kid, you know, to learn soccer, because my dad didn't really play soccer, my mom didn't play soccer, my brother and I literally grew up watching Pele play. My dad would go to the library and rent those little videos and bring them home, and that's what we would watch. And so I've always loved and just have this pull towards Brazil and, you know, the team and the athletes there because that's kind of what I started watching. But really, I believe I'm, I mean, I get so motivated. I mean, we're talking about your podcast. I love to see people who have a calling on their heart and who actually go forward with it because life can be tough and there's roadblocks and obstacles and all this stuff. I was speaking at high school the other day and I said, you know what comes hand in hand with goals? Challenges. Those two go together. And so it's part of the process. And when people pursue their passions and keep walking forward, that to me really just fires me up because I I know it's not always easy. I know there's days you don't want to do what you're doing, but you do it anyways, because you dig deep, you remember why you started in the first place, you remember why you're doing it, and then you just keep going forward. So I just, yeah, I think we can be all motivated in so many different areas of life if we if we really choose to. Do you have someone?

Carlene 11:56

Did you have anyone like growing up? Um, yeah, you know what? There's a couple. Like I did, you know, for me, Michael Phelps. Um, not growing up, but later on, I think Michael Phelps and um Usain Bolt, when they were coming to the front, I I remember 2008 being in Grenada and me and my aunt watching. And I I had just graduated, graduated university, but I, you know, when I look back when I was younger, I don't think there was there was someone that like I could focus on to say, like it's one of those things with me when I think about I I I'm I think more or less the announcer, like I said. But as far as athletes are concerned, I think maybe I don't know if I remember like a lot about like, you know, even um what's his name, the track star. Um what's his name? Donovan Bailey. Yeah. Like I you know what I mean? I don't know, like to I I mean, I appreciate him now, you know, as I think back, but I just I just remember like the Olympics being something for me where it brought like the whole country together, but to save, I mean, that's like going so far back in my mind, but I just remember watching it. I just don't know if anyone really stood out for me that, you know, because you know, I don't know about you, but sometimes I think I'm like, had I focus on track instead of focusing on this, you know what I mean? But it's it's always one of those things I find. But for me, it was just watching the Olympics and watching track. Like I loved running track, like you. I did track as well. I have like a moment I remember, like, I don't know if you ever did the relay, but I remember we did the four by one, and we were there was a bad changeover, a bad pass. I I was I think I was the first runner. Was I first? No, I was second, and then I saw the changeover, and we were in the lead, but it was the bad pass, and we got disqualified. I just remember feeling so devastated. I was like, we have got like you know, but I remember those moments, but yeah, I don't know if you ever had like if you did the relay too, or you know, I did, I did.

Speaker 3 14:05

I had oh, I love the relay, really was fun, and then all of it. But I remember watching Donovan. I remember watching him in the compete in the Olympics and just being like in awe. And so it's funny because Donovan's in the one of the books, Never Quote on a Bad Day, and for it to be like full circle, I was definitely like fangirling and being like, oh my gosh, Donovan Bailey, you know, because it's to me, it's just again when you can see people who are like in their greatness and all everything that they went through to get there. I just I think all of it is just something that really let's take it for what it is, inspiring. And then realizing that we may not be on the same path as that person, and that's totally okay, but we can create the same sort of highs in our own life by finding what lights us up and continuing to move towards it.

Never Quit On A Bad Day

Carlene 14:51

So, you know, you you brought up the book and the saying never quit on a bad day. The original quote is by Olympic gymnast uh Nat Nastia Lukian? I can't, I can't pronounce it, but I had to look it up because I was just like, that is um a very strong quote, and obviously it's the name of your book and your workbook and the series itself. And so is that your mantra? Is that your what you go by? Was that the reason that you went with that?

Speaker 3 15:24

Yeah, it is. I mean, that quote has been attributed to different people. I always say it's it's something I heard years and years ago, and just it always stuck with me because in everything, typically, when do we quit things? We quit things when we're we're frustrated, we're angry, or we're upset, or we're in this flood of emotions, typically not the ones that are helpful. And that's usually when we quit things. And so it's just played out in my own life as a soccer player. It's played out in my professional life, it's played out in my personal life, is just that remembering to keep going and not to say you never quit something. That's not what the saying's about at all. It's just saying if you're gonna, if you're gonna leave something, move forward into something else, do it on a day when your emotions aren't high. Don't make a permanent decision from a temporary place, is really what it comes down to. And so it's just a saying that I want more people to hear about it, to understand it. And it was just so fitting for that to be the name of the book series and and everything that I've been doing going forward.

Building The Book Series

Carlene 16:26

Yeah. So I mean, writing, like, how did that come about? Like, I'm there's a lot to writing. I mean, you could just write something, but writing a book is a feat in itself. And so I've met a few authors in my podcast journey. And so the stories you have you've obviously interviewed people to write the book. It wasn't just the Phoebe, Phoebe Trotman memoirs. Like this is my whole backstory, like you know what I mean? Like right, it could be like the whole, what is it called? You running on the soccer field, right? But it's it's it's it's more than that. You've obviously talked to others who've had experiences that inspire them not to quit, right?

Speaker 3 17:09

Yeah, absolutely. So, how it all came to be, I was actually with some friends and we were talking entrepreneurs, we were brainstorming, kind of chatting, and what next? What are you, what are you working on? And so I had shared with them that I wanted to create something to help inspire, encourage people, because I've had so many incredible people, mentors over my own life. And so I wanted to kind of create something to share some of that knowledge. And so they were actually the ones who recommended write a book. And I kind of chuckled initially because writing a book, although I'm a huge goal setter and I have like, you know, thing, intentions that are and experiences I want to accomplish and enjoy, writing a book wasn't actually on that, even though I read a lot, it just wasn't something. And so I kind of was like, well, maybe. And anyways, give you the short version. I had the month before I had been inducted into Coco Sports Hall of Fame and we had kind of a ceremony. And one of the questions that came up is, what is sport given me? And kind of some of the stuff we've already talked about, I shared. And so when I was sitting with the idea of writing a book, I realized, well, you know what? I do want to write a book, but I want to write a book that kind of highlights the story behind the story because oftentimes we see people who have, you know, what we consider successful lives or careers or this or that. And I know a lot of times we just think, okay, well, they haven't. And they, but not really realizing that they probably went through some stuff to get there. And they've they've probably experienced some tough things as well, too. And they just kept going. And so that's when I realized that's what I wanted to share, kind of the story behind the story, some of the stuff someone's gone through, but more importantly, what did they do or not do to keep going forward? So that a reader can take that knowledge and apply it to their own life. Because even though the challenge may not be the exact same that you go through, that I go through, that someone else goes through, there will be parallels, those feelings, the challenging, that tough stuff. And so what we go through and how we navigate through it, that can be applied to someone else's journey in life. And so that's really where the book series came from. And then, yes, I interviewed, I thought about some of the people who personally have just impacted me. I reached out to them to ask if they'd be open to sharing their story, and they were. And then my editor and I created, we kind of did the writing process and the reflections on resilience and putting it all together. And then I have an incredible book designer who helped with the design of it, and then it really all came together.

Speaker 19:21

Diva Tonight,

Money Mindset Book Message

Speaker 19:22

glamour for your ears.

Speaker 1 19:24

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Carlene 19:54

With the book, it's it feels like an entrepreneur's like way. Like, because from the authors I've met, they're like, well, you know, I didn't like I've met someone else who said to me they didn't really plan to write a book, but I think it's kind of like the book is for you in a way to reflect on what you've learned in your

Resilience Tools For Tough Moments

Carlene 20:15

life and like your own story and to help motivate others, right? And some challenges along the way. So as an entrepreneur, when you have a challenge, how do you overcome it?

Speaker 3 20:26

It's a great question. I think it, well, number one, depends on what the challenge is, right? Because the first thing that I say, and this is why the book series is so interesting, is because everyone has their own definition, if you will, of what bad is. It's all relative, right? What I think is bad, someone else might not think is bad, and vice versa. So I think the biggest thing that I've learned is there are going to be those tough moments that we're that all of us are going to experience. How can you, as an individual, you're going through something, just some of the things that I've realized over my own journey as an individual, going through a lot of personal challenges, yes, athletic challenges, family challenges, all the stuff, is just certain things. Like, how can you still find something to be grateful for, even in the challenge? And not saying you're grateful for the challenge, not saying that at all. However, are there what are other things can you hold on to? Because what I've found personally when I'm going through a really tough situation, if I can find something to be grateful for, and it might even just be having a warm bed, you know, place we talked about Kenya, having running water, like finding something to hold on to, not it doesn't minimize what your the challenge that I'm going through or the challenge that someone's going through. It just gives them something else to hold on to and can help shift your perspective. And sometimes it's just in that shift for that brief moment that helps you just kind of have that moment of like, okay, I'm gonna, you know, go through this. So gratitude's a big piece of it. Perspective is another part of it, right? Having good people around you, who do you turn to when you're going through a tough, tough time? Right. Because having that positive reinforcement of someone who's been through some stuff who can say, hey, I'm here with you in this. I may not understand everything that you're going through, but I'm here with you in this. And you're going to be okay. Sometimes it's just that that word of encouragement that can keep you going one more step. And so really it's about putting one foot in front of the other, realizing that, you know, there is light at the end of the tunnel. If we want to say that, the thing that I've realized is sitting in the tunnel is not going to get you closer to that light. You're still moving forward. And maybe it's having someone who can help pull you along to move forward will get you to that end of the tunnel a little bit faster so that you can see the light. So it's kind of learning through a lot of a lot of things that I've just gone through and learning from other people who I've interviewed and conversations and friends and family, and you know, believing that you will be okay. You will get through it as long as you keep moving

Parents’ Influence And Caribbean Roots

Speaker 3 22:53

forward.

Carlene 22:53

So, you know, in the beginning, you you talked about your mom and your dad, and I always like to go back in time. Like Phoebe Trotman at five years old, and you know, your parents obviously they didn't play sports, but they influenced you in many ways. I think it seems like that they supported you and your brother. And so as you think back, you were saying when you went to Kenya, what happened? Your dad wasn't he was ill at the time. But when you think back, like what did your parents do? Like, do you feel like their careers kind of like pushed you to do what you're doing now?

Speaker 3 23:33

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I'm so grateful for the parents that I have and had um because I the yes, uh everything that I do is is a testament to them and the people, incredible people that they were in terms of their legacy. And so one thing, I mean, my mom stayed home with my brother and I. She had a home-based business when we were really little. She did go back into kind of the traditional workforce, if you will, but she did start off with a home-based business. And so I always saw this as such a cool opportunity for and wanted to have, you know, one day when I had my own family, I wanted to be able to have that, to be able to be at home, but also be contributing and still, you know, out there doing things. And so for sure, the entrepreneur and my dad. I mean, my dad always had some sort of something on the side he was working on as well, too. But most my parents were social workers. And so I saw just saw how much they gave and just to other people and not even just from her their profession, but just as people. And you know, my family's originally from Barbados. You mentioned Grenada, so I need to find out for sure if you're from Grenada because I just booked a trip there. But anyways, yeah, that's just how you know I feel like one thing with the Caribbean people in general, they're just such loving, caring people, and it's about helping your neighbor and your family, you know, and just kind of that community feel. And so my parents definitely brought that with them because that was in them to Canada. And then um, just as with the faith community too, and just you know, with the church and just seeing how close and how much just people reached out to each other and just had that community feel as well, there. And so, really, five-year-old Phoebe saw the entrepreneur side of life, saw the faith side of life, saw um the, you know, coming to a new country and just that courage that it takes to leave everything that you know to come to a brand new country and and build from the ground up. So that hard work, that faith, that believing, that going even when things didn't didn't go the way that my parents wanted to, you know, but they kept one foot in front of the other, they kept believing. And so that was my example. That's what you what you do.

Carlene 25:35

So five-year-old Phoebe. So you asked me about Grenada. So I'll tell you, I am from Grenada. I was born there. Yeah. Uh I left when I was uh six. And so I guess in our conversation before, I did bring up not magnation, so maybe you saw the two together there. But five-year-old Phoebe, five-year-old Carlene. So yeah, when I when I left Grenada and I came up here, I think like you know, your roots kind of tie you back. And so I always think back to Grenada, like when I left, and like Grenada's small, but the community is big. Like when I went to Grenada, just to sum it up, thinking back to what you just said, I think of my family who's there, like just my grandmother and my aunt, but like they're such humble people, Phoebe. So I I interviewed an athlete from Grenada. He was the first Olympic athlete for Grenada. So when uh yeah, I know when that happened, like we've had some more medals along the way, obviously, since then. But to say the least, I think Grenadians are very humble people. And I say that because of Karani James, because never my wildest dreams would I think that I would interview him, but I did. And so when it did happen, I was like, wow, you know what I mean? You it's like full circle in your head. And so going back to your story and like your family, like I think, yeah, the Caribbean people like as a whole, they're fully connected in a in a way. And if they can help you pay well for sure. Like Grenadians, I think they're that kind of people for sure.

Entrepreneurship And Real Estate Start

Carlene 27:05

You know, you were talking about entrepreneurship and being an entrepreneur, and how did you get started as an entrepreneur? So yeah.

Speaker 3 27:14

So I really, as a as an entrepreneur, kind of again in my roots, like, you know, I was always open to looking at other opportunities and kind of learning. I started learning about real estate investing. Like I went to university, I have a degree in kinesiology and started working. I just realized that when I was working full-time, like I got to a place in my my prof where I was working, I just felt really, I wasn't growing, I wasn't learning new things. I kind of just felt like a little bit flat. And so I actually started learning about real estate investing. That's kind of the first entrepreneurial thing, if you will, just learning how, like, what is what does it mean to invest in real estate? How do you get a property that cash flows and just learning all about it? And from there, I've been around a lot of home-based businesses, but I hadn't found something that I really wanted, was connected with that I wanted to do. And a friend of mine actually had reached out. And so I was introduced to an online business and it just fit like everything in terms of what I could do with it. Now, I didn't just initially decide to build it as a business. I started using it as a tool because I had started a coaching business as well with soccer and kind of was doing all these different things on the side of working my full-time job, kind of being like, again, I just wanted to learn and grow. And plus, I was like, if once I learned about the concept of passive and residual income, I was like, that sounds great. How do I create that? And was really open to it. And so the entrepreneur journey was on the side to start. And then the full-time job that I had, the company went bankrupt and I was laid off. And so I was at this little crossroads moment. And I was like, okay, well, what next? Like, do I go back to school for my masters? Do I, you know, coach full soccer full time? What like, you know, kind of feeling this pull of, you know, and if anyone's ever been laid off, I feel like you have two emotions. One, I was like, woohoo, no work tomorrow. And the other one was like, oh, I got bills to pay. Like, what are we doing? You know? And so I just kind of in that moment paused and actually looked forward in my life and went, okay, what do I really want life to look like? Like in the next five, 10 years, like what do I want it to look like? And I realized that I wanted to have really control of my time. I wanted something that I could do again with that upbringing of having my mom, you know, at home for for some of those years. And so I decided to go full-time with the online business that I had because it kind of checked a lot of the boxes that I was looking for. And so it was a rocky start. It really was a rocky start. I did not have success right away. I kind of was in this mindset of like, well, I'll work one day, I'll take two off, I'll work another day, work, you know, that to me was what entrepreneurship was initially until I realized that if you want consistent results, it takes consistent activity. And then once I started applying certain things to my business, taking a lot of the things I learned as an athlete and applying them as an entrepreneur, then things started to shift. And it's been, well, it's almost been 20 years since that entrepreneur journey

Network Marketing Myths And Reality

Speaker 3 30:06

kicked off.

Carlene 30:06

Yeah. So with network marketing, I I there's the negative thing with it, you know, the network marketing, like it's a pyramid scheme. And I'm sure you've heard all the things. So all the things. All the things. It's been 20 years.

Speaker 3 30:20

All the things.

Carlene 30:22

I know. I keep hearing that so much that I'm like, okay, let's just sum it up all the things. So what do you say to that? Because I I'm asking you two things, but I'm also going to mention that I did network marketing and years ago too. And it it's hard to do it if you don't really have the support. Uh, I have to say, because it it is like you're building a network. So I mean, tying that back to you and you know, just work doing a home business. And what do you say to that, right?

Speaker 3 30:50

So here's what I always tell people with regards to network marketing. I think number one, to build a successful business in any sort of business, number one, you have to believe in what you're doing, first and foremost. If you don't believe in it, don't, don't sign up, don't join it. Like it's it comes down to because, and the other thing is you want to find a company that you align with the the leadership, you align with the vision for the company. There's so many things to look at if you're really going to build a successful business. Now, is it hard work? Absolutely. Anything that's rewarding is going to be challenging and hard. Network marketing isn't in its own category. And that's the thing that I think is so unfortunate is because network marketing, why I feel it has such a negative connotation to it, is because unfortunately, there's people who who talk like, okay, sign up and you're gonna sit at home and you sign up one person and you're gonna make all this money. That's that's not that's not real. That's not a real business. But people have portrayed it like that, and then people join thinking it's gonna be this cakewalk. And then when that doesn't happen, they're upset, rightfully so. So, one of the things, like when for our organization, I was very transparent. Number one, I'm asking you, like, okay, number one, do you believe in the product? Because if you don't believe in the product, period, it's gonna be very hard to share it with other people. Number two is like, well, what do you want? What's why are you joining the business? Are you joining it because you just want to make some friends? Are you joining it because you want to make a little bit of money, a part-time income, a lot? Like, there's so much more to it than just and I think when you can go in with that understanding, can network marketing be successful? Absolutely. And again, we talked about sport, the life skills that you learn. There, I am so grateful for network marketing because I learned so much about it, like, yes, income. Being rejected many times, all of it, like, oh my gosh, absolutely. No, I mean, mind you, the company that I'm with, yeah, you didn't get a lot of pushback because it's such a feel-good company. So, did everyone join? No, not everyone joined, but it could also be how I approached it. I just shared it with people the same way that I would share what if I got a great deal at a store that I go to. I would tell my friends about it. And I think that's the biggest thing that for anyone, again, if you choose to get involved in a company, really ask yourself, well, would I share this if I wasn't getting paid with for it? Because that makes a big difference. If you're only sharing something because you're tied to the income behind it, well, again, do you believe in it? Because I share things all day long without getting a check for it. Because I want if something, if I find value in something, why wouldn't I want to share it with a friend? Doesn't mean they have to, they're gonna find value in it. And so, you know, I just I really believe it's unfortunate that it's gotten such a negative connotation around it because there's, you know, so many great things about it. That being said, I think everybody has their own path. I just say if you're looking for something, maybe be open, take a look, but always do your due diligence with anything that you get involved in. Do your due diligence, do your research. Is it something that you you want to align yourself with?

Carlene 33:52

So You actually just made me think of something too when you said, like if you don't believe in it or if you don't back the company, it might not do as well as you want it to do if there's only like one driving force, right?

Speaker 3 34:03

And so Yeah, there's a lot I think people to look into before you make a decision to to do something. If you're if you're really looking at it as a business, right? And understanding it's gonna take work in the state, you know, it's it's yeah, it's a business, right? It's a business, so it's gonna take some work.

Carlene 34:22

Like with any business, you know what I mean? And so, you know, we didn't even talk about 40, and that's the

Life In Your 40s

Carlene 34:28

series. And I know you're in that age group. Uh, do a little digging here. I guess the one thing I want to ask you, like as someone in her 40s, what do you think has been like, you know, the challenge with this age and challenge, like more like the positive aspect of 40, because I think there's a lot of positives with it too, right?

Speaker 3 34:48

Oh, yeah. The positives I think with 40, I mean, just getting to like you've had more years with yourself and really getting to know yourself, understand yourself, what do you like to do, realizing that you don't have to say yes to everything. No is okay, no is a full sentence, period. Or you can add no, thank you if you want to. However, like really stepping into that, I would say, you know, 40 has been so many highs of 40 and then lows. You know, I lost my mom in my like it's hard. It really is hard. And, you know, that being said, it's like just realizing, you know, that grateful for this time that I had with my mom and my dad to set me up to be who I am in this 40 range. Um because range because I'm older than just 40. Um, but uh, you know, like really just feeling like I'm understanding myself a lot better. That I'm grateful for. And then you know what? I'll say this too. 40 has been interesting because I've been so fortunate with my career as an athlete to have, yeah, ankle sprains, pulled muscles, you know, broken toe, little things. The 40s, oh my gosh, I have frozen shoulder, knee injury, hip issue. Like I laugh because I'm like, hip issues? Like that is supposed to be when I'm like 70, but no, going through right now, you know. But I also go, that's a blessing. That's a blessing because I get to have that. It's not a, you know, you know, would I love to just have the 40s be smooth sailing, no aches and pains and joints and all this stuff? Yes, I would. That being said, at least I get to experience that, right? And so again, this is where I say holding, finding something to be grateful for, even throughout the 40s and the interesting experiences that we we are enjoying. Um, and just again, finding community. That that's what I'm grateful for is having a community of women that I can ask older women, like my mentors, women who are older, who are gonna be like, um, this happened. Is this like, is this part of they're like, Yep, it is. Keep going. I'm like, okay, you know. So I think that's part of it as well is is again having that community of people that you can kind of laugh at stuff with and they go, Oh, that's all you're having? You're fine, keep going, you know. I'm like, really? They're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, sure. So I think the biggest thing though is really just feeling like I know myself even more. Because and again, a lot of it's because of the tough stuff that I've navigated through.

Carlene 37:16

Mm-hmm. Yeah, life is a journey, you know? And my saying is you've said a lot of sayings, but you know, mine's always been like the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And I always feel like when I'm going on a walk, you know how you said you're now like I'm all I love walking, and I always feel like when I when I'm walking is when I reflect and I notice the things around me, and it brings things into full circle, like you said, and I because you've been with yourself for so long that there's that clarity a lot more for me on the path to here and

Where To Find Phoebe

Carlene 37:49

now. And so, in terms of like connecting with you or you're on social media, and if anyone wants to support or read the book, you know, Never Quit on a bad day. So, where can the listener find you?

Speaker 3 38:04

Yeah, absolutely. So the books are available on all the online major retailers. So never quit on a bad day is the name of the book series. And then to connect with me, head over to my website, neverquit on a bad day.com. There's a free gift for everyone when they head on over there as well. And then social media, super easy. Never quit on a bad day. So those are my handles. And yeah, I just share different inspiration tips, you know, life stories, life lessons, things to really just I'm about encouraging people to realize that they are they have are great, that resilience is important for the journey, and how do you keep growing? And that's really what you'll find with me over on social media and through the books and everything that I do.

What’s Next And Closing

Carlene 38:44

Yeah. I mean, you know, what's next? What's next for Phoebe? What's what's the plan? We're in 2026.

Speaker 3 38:51

2026. Well, super excited putting the finishing touches on the newest book in the Never Quit on a Bad Day series, which will be coming out in spring. So, really, really excited about this book to get it out into the hands of more people. I've got awesome feedback from the advanced reader team. And so, really looking forward to that. And then just continue to do speaking and workshops and really just adding value where I can, and just, you know, taking some of the tough things that I've gone through and how can I share some of those stories to help other people who might be going through again, even if it's not the same thing, they're going through something. If I can help in any way, that's really what I just want to continue to do.

Carlene 39:31

Yeah. I think, you know, your parents are um watching that and they're very proud because it's very humble, you know, your experiences and your stories. So it's been great talking to you and learning about your journey. It's been great. I mean, I've learned so much. And so, with that being said, uh, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight with Phoebe Trotman. And you can get her book, Never Quit on a Bad Day, on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

Speaker 40:01

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