From Societal Checklists To Personal Fulfillment In Your 40s

The checklists are loud—marriage, kids, title, house—but the quiet question underneath is louder: what does a fulfilled life actually look like? We sit down with Babs Faseesin author of Cracking the Life Code, to rethink success after forty, confront cultural expectations, and make space for a life measured by purpose, not trophies. From the aches that remind us time is real to the urge to please family, culture, and our younger selves, we unpack how acceptance and authenticity pull in opposite directions—and how to choose your path without apology.

Babs brings a strategist’s lens and a teacher’s heart to big topics that touch daily life. We explore why symbols like cars, luxury labels, and job titles can mask emptiness, and how identity shifts when you lead with passions, fears, and values instead of a business card. We spotlight the quiet heroes—teachers and mentors—whose impact rarely trends but transforms lives. Then we turn to artificial intelligence with a grounded take: AI can free time, speed discovery, and scale creativity, even as it raises hard questions about jobs, scams, deepfakes, and ownership in music and media. The goal isn’t panic or hype; it’s literacy, guardrails, and using tech to elevate human connection.

The heart of our talk is vulnerability. Raised in cultures where men “don’t cry” and women must be endlessly strong, many of us learned to hide the very thing that builds trust. Babs makes the case that openness is a superpower in love, family, and leadership, creating bonds that status can’t buy. We wrap with practical tools: get 1% better each day, treat money as a tool rather than a trophy, and design a life where time is invested in what matters most. If you’re ready to trade checklists for meaning—and pressure for purpose—this conversation is your nudge.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who’s redefining success, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your story might be the spark someone else needs.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Intro

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're listening to Diva Tonight with Carleen Humphrey, a relationship podcast with a focus on life, love, and friendship. Welcome to Diva Tonight.

Turning 40 And Health Realizations

Carlene 0:13

Hi, I'm Carleen, and this is Diva Tonight. This is a podcast series on relationships that we have with ourselves, our friends, and our family. And I am joined tonight with Bab Futchison. And you are from Nigeria?

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Originally, yes.

Carlene 0:32

Originally from Nigeria. Live in New York. And we were talking about 40. Like, you know, this series is about women in their 40s, and I've continued it on, and you know, haven't had too many male perspectives on this journey of life or this chapter in life. And so we were talking about it. So what do you think? As as a self-man yourself, you know, like now that you've turned 40, you're in your forties, yeah, certain expectations that you have.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Well, here, I I don't know if it's about expectations, but I'll tell you what. So when my dad turned 40, I remember very, very, very vividly the day my dad turned 40, he called me and we were just chatting. Um I'm I'm the first son, the first child, and my dad always viewed me as a as a son and a friend. And so we were chatting when he turned 40, and he and he told me, he said, you know, after 40, I need to reevaluate my health habits and I need to change the kind of foods that I eat. I mean, I was very young at the time. I didn't understand what he was, I couldn't really understand what he was saying, but he continued to say that when he turned 41, and then 42 and then 43. He just continued to say, oh, I have to, I need to be very mindful of my of what I eat and and and all of that. But since growing up and turning 40 uh myself, I think I have a good understanding now what he was saying then. So frankly, I missed the days where I woke up, I jumped out of bed and bounced out, and frankly didn't feel didn't even realize that there was any such thing as tension or pain or tightness of the muscle. The other day I sat and asked myself, where is the 19-year-old highest gold star in soccer? That used to be me. And I'm like, where did that person go? But uh urging and growing, or if you will, gracefully is is a natural part of life. And if your question is around what are my expectations in my 40s, I guess my question would be, are these expectations around what I should have achieved in life? Is that what we're referencing here?

Carlene 2:58

Yeah, I mean, and the female perspective is like society expects me at this age of life to be married, to have children. And if you don't have those things, then then your family starts to question, like, oh, how come you don't have kids? What's the reason? Like, you know, your your clock is ticking, like you know, like uh the maternal thing. And yeah, and if and if you're not conforming to society's expectation of you, then you start to question question yourself and like what is life about, like you know what I mean.

Acceptance Versus Authenticity

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So yeah, yeah, I mean that's right. I I think I don't think it's any different for men, actually. Men also, society expects men in their 40s to be married, to have, you know, to be taking care of a family, raising a family, if you will, to have a successful career or something of that of that nature. So, yes, societal pressure is same both for men and women, maybe uh more so for women, but we do experience the same families asking questions around when are you going to settle down? And you know, where us women, I I'm not sure what the general assumption is when you're in your 40s, but for men it would be hey, do you want to be a lifetime player? Is that what you want to be? Do you just want to play? Do you want to be a player? Oh, what are the things? So there are those assumptions, and and uh I made a I made a post on on LinkedIn recently, a few days ago, and an old childhood friend of mine responded saying, Hey, you keep talking about family. Well, not trying to make put pressure on you, but we need to see this family. So that that's that's only a friend will do that to you on LinkedIn, you know, and I mean, but that's part of society, right? That's that's the expectation that society has. There is this unwritten and unseen timeline that makes us, you know, chase these what society has created as the image of success with its own timeline, forgetting that every individual is different and that our journeys are very different. Some people would start out uh at the gate, other people midlife, other people later in life. Everyone's got their individual journeys to leave, and that's essentially how I run my life. I don't exactly care much what society says or what society expects of me. I have mastered my own journey and staying in my lane, practically, and really just doing life on my own terms. And in our 40s, I think we actually have come of age to the point where we begin to feel like yes, we can do that. Because when we were younger, there was a lot more need of feeling like we we had this deep desire to be accepted. When you're in your 40s, listen, I'm not seeking acceptance from anyone at this point in my life. Maybe when I was 20, when I was 32, maybe I was seeking acceptance, acceptance from my family, acceptance from my culture, acceptance from society, acceptance from the professional world where I have a career. You know, I'm seeking acceptance. And the battle between acceptance and uh authenticity is one that constantly rages within our minds. We're constantly fighting authenticity. Should I be authentic to myself? Should I not care about what anyone says? Versus should I seek acceptance? Because if I seek acceptance, then I would lose a bit of myself, the authenticity. But then if I choose to be authentic to myself, sometimes I might lose, I risk being rejected by society. So it's a conflict we're constantly dealing with. But I think in our 40s it becomes a lot easier. Well, maybe not easier, but we we come in, we come of age where we feel a lot more ability to say, hey, it is my journey, and I'm leaning into my journey and really caring less about what anyone else expects.

Books, Studies, And Family Legacy

Carlene 7:18

I think you nail the head, the nailed it right on the head there. And you know, with that being said, I I didn't give you your proper introduction, Mister. I'm going to do that now because you're talking about authenticity and being yourself and who you are. And so there's a difference between me and you and and and how who you are in life and how you've gotten here. And obviously, you are the author of cracking the life code. Correct. And you're also studying right now. You mentioned previously that you're working on your PhD. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Well, that that was a long time ago. That must have been a while since we had that conversation. Death's been done a long time ago, except maybe it's a second PhD. Maybe it's a second PhD.

Carlene 8:15

Your second PhD?

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I'm constantly studying. There is no there is no there's no end to studying.

Carlene 8:24

This is next level. I think two PhDs.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

I do know if you my dad's got two. I think it's uh I think it's uh it's a family thing.

Carlene 8:39

It's a family.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Yeah.

Carlene 8:44

What does your dad have a PhD in?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Both he's a he's a professor. He's a professor of political science, so he's in the political science space.

Carlene 8:56

Where? Which university?

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Oh no, he's retired now. He he used to be uh in in uh he used to be uh in the London School of Economics.

Carlene 9:06

You have big shoes to fill.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Yeah, that's right. Well, that's part of the conversation we were having earlier. I don't know if those shoes are mine or they're his.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

I got my own shoes to fill to wear.

Carlene 9:19

Those shoes the answer doesn't fall far from the tree. And so finally, as someone who is well read, I love reading. And um my interest falls, like you know, in terms of like reading the entire book, but I do love to read, and it's always been like that since I was a child. And so the saying is there are those who do, and then there are those who teach. And those who teach are those who enjoy learning and and and teaching others, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 9:47

And so yeah, teaching, I mean, teaching, I I think teaching is actually a gift. If you ever have an opportunity to teach, I would count it a privilege because that's how I stay relevant, that's how I constantly learn. In order to teach, you must read, you must, you must study, you must understand. And so the best way to learn is really to teach. That's my personal point of view.

Carlene 10:15

And so, what is the second degree that you're studying right now?

SPEAKER_01 10:20

I have interest in technology.

Carlene 10:22

Uh artificial intelligence?

The Human Need For Connection

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Uh there you go. There you go. So it's an it's a natural progression from my first doctorate degree, which is in strategy and innovation.

Carlene 10:33

So you have experience with building brands across North America, Europe, and Africa, and you're a strategist, as you said, earlier, before we started to record. And so, what is the single most important human truth that remains consistent regardless of the market?

SPEAKER_01 10:51

There are a ton of human truths. Our need for connection is, for instance, a fundamental human truth, regardless of the proliferation of technology, advancement of technology. Yes, we have access to better tools for communication, but a deep human desire is one for connection. We're constant we're seeking, we're not designed to be isolated, we're not designed to be focused on screens all day, playing games and you know, uh watching entertainment. And but it's unfortunate that that's where we are today because we have all of the tools to do so to engage ourselves and entertain ourselves. But at the core of our being is a burning desire for connection. That's the human truth that doesn't go away.

AI: Hype, Fears, And Real Upsides

Carlene 11:44

Yeah. I think even with AI, I think if if we talk about like even it's not just artificial intelligence, but in religion, it's like it's it was Adam and Eve. And so there were two people if we're going that route. And so, as human beings, I guess we're not supposed to be alone all the time. I mean, we're not designed that way, like you said. And so with your study in AI, since we're going down that road, what is the biggest misconception with AI? What are you finding in your research?

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Well, the the general notion that AI is doomsday is is inaccurate. The assumption that you know AI is just negative is not accurate. Just like every every invention, every advancement in technology has brought some fairly positive uh improvements to human life and quality of life. Uh and each one of those also have demerits. Um, so artificial intelligence has got significant merits, but then it has also got its demerits. But uh I feel like there is an overemphasis on the negative implications. Uh and trust me, uh, I do know and agree that there are neck downfalls, uh, demerits to use of artificial intelligence, but it's not all.

Carlene 13:13

So there's pros and cons to everything. And and so what do you think are the advancements? Like, why do you think it's important?

Music, Deepfakes, And Creative Shifts

SPEAKER_01 13:21

There are so many things we want to do. Well, I personally, there's so many things I want to do in a day that I don't have enough time to get through them. If I have an agent that can run all of my tasks, all of my errands, and free up my time, my brain power to do something deeply strategic. When we started this conversation before you hit record, I told you how I mean I just got into trying to pop out ideas. That's my natural state where I'm I'm thinking of ideas, I'm thinking big ideas, strategic solutions to big you know problems. But then I have to think about grocery shopping. I have to think about you know, so many other, you know, low-level tests. If I have an AI agent that's able to take care of all of those for me, and I free up my brain power to focus on only creative and strategic things. Can you imagine how much more I'll do in a day? So that's just one angle. When we look at how it's impacting medicine, and now we're able to discover more medical solutions, if you will, faster. So it's about speed, it's about bringing a lot more ease to life, it's about helping us perform better, it's about you know scaling what we do today, you know, time 10xing what we do today. And there, of course, I know that that leads to the fear that humans will be replaced, especially in the professional space. And there's no doubt there have been lots of conversation around how AI may or will eliminate some positions. We're starting to see that actually. We're starting to see consulting firm let go of over a thousand people because they didn't believe they were going to be able to adopt AI, or their the ability to leverage AI may not be great. So uh hey, there are opportunities, but then yes, there are challenges, uh cons to AI. One of them is because this technology is very smart, bad players are able to leverage that technology to continue to do scams. So the scams become more intelligent. Just as the technology becomes more intelligent, scammers become more is like a tool to continue uh to be bad players in society. That's that's an that's an example. And we we talk a lot about deep fakes, you can't really tell what is real versus what is fake, and then so many of these information.

Carlene 16:08

The one thing I want to say as I'm listening to you is that there's this song I like, and it's not even a real artist who wrote that song.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Yes, the AI song.

Carlene 16:21

There's two songs now that I've heard, and there's no music video behind it, and they they're not admitting that it is AI. I believe it's obvious that it is, because I mean you can't find this artist, we're not going to their concert, right? And so it's amazing. I'm like, oh my gosh, this song is going viral right now. And the people behind it, so obviously there are people who help create the song, because I mean AI is created by humans. So that is a scary thing when you think about it. Like it's it's just changing the the way we create. Because I mean, music itself, like you know, the music industry is even changing because of this, don't you think?

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Like everything's changing, yeah. Music is changing, entertainment's changing. I have the opportunity of speaking at an AI conference that has uh in the music industry. So yes, it's it's what's that?

Carlene 17:15

That AI conference. Enlighten us.

Demystifying Success And Its Symbols

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Well, I mean, there are there are a few AI conferences for some different organizations, different industry bodies. So you have market in the marketing industry saying we want to have an AI conference where we want to talk about how AI is application for our industry marketing, or the music industry, how is AI impacting? The music industry when we think about the rights to ownership, the copyrights to this music, the the music, and you know, how should our industry respond to AI or how should we leverage AI? That I've had the opportunity of attending a few of these, probably six by now. And they're always very interesting. Interesting in the sense that you would learn how different technology providers are, what solutions they bring to market, and how those solutions can be beneficial to whatever your field of practice is. And I often encourage people just keep an open mind. You never know what you would learn and how you might average that. AI is producing a lot more millionaires than we've ever seen before.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

So season four of Diva Tonight brings you incredible guests, honest conversations, real experiences, and lessons we can all take with us. Diva Tonight, glamour for your ears.

Carlene 18:41

But getting back to you, I mean, we're talking about like the industry and music and life, but there is more to that than the person behind who wrote the book. So cracking the code, can you elaborate?

Identity Beyond Job Titles

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, habits, mindsets, and behaviors for personal success. Uh I wanted to talk a little about success in that book because just the way we started this conversation earlier. Society often defines success and expects authors to think of success in terms of material things. Um and I wanted to demystify that assumption that success is defined by material purpose. I often think of success as finding fulfilling purposes or finding a contributor to something else. Those are ways in which I think of success. And oftentimes when people are unable to attain success in the real sense of success, they tend to grab onto the symbols of success. The symbols of success are is not the same as success. Success is intangible. But symbols as humans, we often associate things tangible or we associate intangibility to tangible. So because we can't really uh wrap our heads around what success means because tangible, we use uh symbols of success to describe or we ascribe and symbols of success. What are some of those symbols of success? It could be home, it could be car, maybe a uh Gucci bag, shoe, sneakers, expensive sneakers, gold chain, and jewelry and so on and so forth. These are symbols that when we see our brain attributes to success, quote end unquote. And oftentimes when people are not able to attain success in its real sense, they tend to go for the symbols of success. So a car, a expensive car, big home, clothing, and and and all of those. Because then it makes them feel like they are successful, even though those are just symbols of success, not truly successful. So I wanted to write about that in my in my book, and I also wanted to help uh the readers understand that uh there are pretty cool uh pieces that help us achieving personal success professional success. There are other types of successes, but I was just focused on personal success, and I thought that personal success is one that balances out and uh completes at life as a whole, basically. So you're thinking about career, family, family, finances, spirituality, health and wellness, and all these areas of our lives we're exploring and seeking to grow those areas of our lives. Oftentimes when we focus, we think about focusing on success, we think about career or finance. I just focus on finances, finances, finances, and nothing else matters. My relationship doesn't matter. Everything else suffers at the expense of finances or at the expense of career, because we think that if we put all of our time and effort in career, then we will be successful. And that's why today we have so many people. Go to exercise every time I go to speak, where I ask them to introduce themselves to someone they haven't met before. And then I turn around and ask them, Well, how did they introduce themselves? Oftentimes, people cannot introduce themselves to a stranger without use of what they do. The first thing a person introduces themselves is, hey, I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I am this engineer, I work at this, I'm uh the manager of such, such and such hotel. So we usually wrap our identity around our job title, the symbol.

Carlene 22:36

And if you do not start the conversation with that Babs, they will still ask you, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 22:43

That's correct.

Purpose, Teaching, And Quiet Impact

Carlene 22:44

If I tell you that I have a podcast and that I like to play volleyball and I dance for many years, you're like the urge to ask, but what do you do for a living? How do you pay your bills? Right? It's it's what do I call it? Like, as you were saying it, it's the Hollywoodism of success. What we see on TV. You the fancy car, the nice house. There's so many shows. Like I remember Pimp My Ride or MTV Cribs, like all these shows, the reality shows that we watch, because we are watching celebrity lifestyle. And you know, it's it's like the the crash and burn. It's like, you know, you watch, you know, Mary J. Blige at the top of her game. And then when she went bankrupt, it's like, how did that happen? You had all this money, you are the top of your game, and and it's you know, spending all the money or doing reckless things with the money, right? You like you said, financial success, right? When you made it big, it's it's always a thing where when you made your first million, what did you buy? Right? That's always the question. And so it makes it it makes it hard when we when that is the image that we see and trying to separate ourselves from that.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah, that's true. I mean, yeah, he has done a lot of that. Our our culture's shaped by media. So media has significant influence. So we oftentimes aim into our frame of reference and our frame of reference meet to where we draw our inspiration.

Carlene 24:18

So when you ask those, those when you when you've run those meetings or there's group exercises and you've asked people to ask other to introduce themselves, what should they be talking about? Like what has your mindset been?

SPEAKER_01 24:33

Well, I I think there are so many things that make up a human, the passions, or desires, are fears, there are aspirations. There are fears, there are aspirations. These are all the things that make me who I am.

Carlene 24:54

There is what do you fear? Now that we're talking about it, what is your biggest fear?

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Well, my my I really hope that I don't ever find myself on my dying bed only to realize there was something else I wanted to do that I didn't get to do. So that's why I'm doing doing my best now to leave life to the fullest. I used to think that I would retire in the classroom when I'm done working professionally. I'll retire as a professor. But then one day it hit me that knows what tomorrow holds. Knows that I'm going to wait until I'm 60 to retire and then go start teaching. And so two years ago, I decided to go in the classroom and start teaching. Like I don't I don't want to be on my dying bed only to think of one thing else that I wanted to do so bad that I didn't get to do.

Carlene 25:47

That is very interesting. Yeah. Wow. So you talk about success and then society's idea of success. So how do you define success?

New Books: Whitespace And Naked

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Success at its core. If I strip everything and just go to the bare bones of success with my purpose, it's about me and fulfillment, pretty much. That's how I define success. So I give our example of a teacher who teaches in a remote part of the world. This teacher will never be known by our media. Our influencers will never find this teacher. No one would wear spotlight on this teacher. But this teacher who is in a remote part of the world is raising people who become doctors, who become lawyers, people who find cure to cancer, people who find, you know, discover new vaccines. It's this teacher that's raising and teaching them. All right. So for this teacher, I believe that they have achieved success in life. Now, they're not known, they're not recognized, they're not celebrated, they're not popular, they probably don't even have money. They're only probably living paycheck to paycheck. So all of the things that we attribute to success, they don't have. They're not celebrities, they're not recognized, they're not celebrated, they don't have money. All those are the ways we describe, we think of success. But in my mind, that teacher in a remote part of the world has found purpose, is doing something meaningful, and I bet they're fulfilled in doing it. So success is about purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. Yeah.

Vulnerability As Relationship Strength

Carlene 27:29

That's interesting though. One of my teachers, he wasn't a teacher, he's my guidance counselor. I didn't know he taught, but he taught math back then and he recently passed away. And I think it goes to show when you he read the message of the impact he left behind, I think it it goes to show that he he did do the like the right thing. It's hard to find good teachers, but when that person was a good teacher or a good role model, they have nothing but good things to say about that person. So when I read the messages of like his impact, I think it's important. Like I think what's it called? It's on this Facebook page, like for the high school that I went to. And yeah, we have like a reunion page because they're supposed to have a reunion and they just posted recently, like he passed he passed away in October of last year, right? And so that when I hear you talk about like that teacher in the rural area where they're not well known, they're not like they don't have like this media presence. It's kind of like the unspoken hero in a way, you know. The ones that when we're kids. Yeah, exactly. And so I guess it it's it's kind of like the meaning in the message where it's like, what kind of impact do you want to leave behind, right? Or what kind of legacy? What is your legacy, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

So that's right.

Carlene 28:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Wish more people come that way.

Carlene 28:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

It's not only about hustle.

Carlene 28:55

It's more to like the hustle, no? I think I think it is it's it's hard though, because like you said, like we are a society of the go, go, go. And and you said it earlier in the conversation about those those mundane tasks, the boring tasks that we have to do on a daily, the tasks that I hate to take me forever to do sometimes, you know, the dishes, the laundry, and having someone to do those things so that you don't have to do them, so that you have more time to spend with your family and your friends, and you know, because time is time is what we have, is all we have. Time is going by quickly, right? So, with that being said, with this book that you wrote, cracking the code, you have a new book that you're working on, or have you completed that book? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Well, yeah, there are two books in the works right now. Got naked coming up this year. Got White Space coming up this year. Whitespace is a business book.

unknown 29:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Whitespace is around helping small and medium scale businesses understand how global brands tap into opportunities or how they discover and leverage untapped opportunities. That's really what the business book is about.

Carlene 30:11

But that book naked, that's the one that I'm really interested in.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

Yeah, of course you are interested in the book. It's about vulnerability. It's about vulnerability.

Carlene 30:21

It's uh why are you saying that? Are you are you putting me in a box, Babs?

SPEAKER_01 30:28

No, there's no box.

Carlene 30:31

There's no box? No, there's a circle?

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Yeah, you sit on top of the box. There's no box.

Carlene 30:39

Okay, fair enough. So do tell. Nickhead, what is that? What is it about?

Planning Life One Percent At A Time

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Nickhead is about vulnerability. It's leveraging using vulnerability as a tool for building stronger relationships. The culture that raised me is one that believed the men didn't cry. It's the one that says, well, get up the men, toughen up, can't show emotions, you can't be seen as weak, without recognizing that vulnerability is actually a strength rather than a weakness. And so I just wanted to give up this point of view in the kids saying sometimes about the power that vulnerability enables us to connect with people in very in deeper ways. And that connection helps to strengthen our relationships with them. So whether that's a romantic relationship or it's a father-daughter relationship, father-son, father-daughter, disabling our relationship, might be uh even a leader to the community. Is that relationship and vulnerability uh helps as like a tool that allows us to strengthen those bonds and those relationships? So that's really what that's about. Encouraging us to lean into that vulnerable sites can be uncomfortable, it can be very difficult, but that's how we get to deep directions. Most people want to stay superficial, you know, just want to be soft.

Carlene 32:02

You know, as you say that, I think of the song, it's an oldie, big girls, or is it big boys, don't cry. Like, I mean, we've even written songs about it.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Yeah, big boys cry like babies.

Carlene 32:14

Yeah, yeah. Don't let them see you. You know, even as women, sometimes it's like when you're vulnerable and you're crying. Like I remember one of my friends, I've never she's never seen me cry. And I think during the pandemic, I just had a moment where I was like, I think it just hit me hard. Something did, and I just started the tears are rolling, and she's like, Carlean, you never cry. I never see you cry. And so when you break down like that and people are because I'm so used to being strong, and so it's hard. You know what I mean? Like that's your vulnerable side that shows us, like I guess we're in in certain societies is a sign of weakness, you know? Like especially in Caribbean household. I feel like we've always been toughen up, you know what I mean? Even when you are upset or you're sad, and yeah, it's it's hard. And so I think it's important that you wrote this book. What was the inspiration behind it?

Mastering Money As A Tool

SPEAKER_01 33:07

Well, I mean, I I have done a lot of um work in my journey, personal development work, self-discovery work. And looking back at my childhood, if I had a book like this, I probably would have benefited a lot from reading this book. So I wanted to share that with the the next generation of black men and women who might be interested in going against the grain, the general assumption uh that cultural assumption of vulnerability is weakness. So I wanted to help tystify that and bring out the value of vulnerable, how it cements, deepens relationships and connections.

Carlene 33:48

Well said. So when does Naked come out?

SPEAKER_01 33:52

When is the release?

Carlene 33:55

Oh, wow. 2026 is gonna be a good year.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

That's right. That's right. Starting off to be a good year already.

Carlene 34:03

You can be here.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

You can be here.

Carlene 34:09

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. It's in the making. It was it was meant to be, right? That's right. Certain things that are meant to be. And so, with that being said, I do want to ask you for the woman or the man who is listening, woman or man, whoever's listening, in terms of, you know, in the new year, there's always new year's resolutions and goals. And so, as someone who is a strategist, what do you think is important in terms of like a life plan or a plan for the future? How should we plan ahead?

SPEAKER_01 34:47

Well, I mean, we don't have we are limited in our ability to see the future. So I encourage my members of my Kraken and Life Code community to take it one day at a time and invest in becoming 1% better each day. That's really all we can do. Yes, we can keep our eyes on the future, but no one can truly tell the future, it looks like. But the little drops of water often make up pond. So our focus on the little drops of water. What can I do today that would make me a better person? My finances, what can I do today that will make me a better husband? What can I do today that will make me a better father? What can I do today that will make me uh one step closer to my fitness goal? What can I do today? It's just one day, every single day, getting one percent better is what our focus should be. And I often encourage our I have one more question.

Carlene 35:48

Yes. So you're talking about finances. I think that's the the one thing that many of us struggle with. I think in the New Year, it's like, you know, paying off your debts. So how can one master money? What do you think is important with that?

Where To Find Babs And The Book

SPEAKER_01 35:59

So I wrote a lot about mastering money in my book, Cracking the Life Code. Um I would I would encourage, I would encourage anyone who wants to double-click into that to take a look at my book. I was actually just reading this this portion of the book right before this podcast. It's really titled Mastering Money. So to have a look at it. And I guess the summary is we need to understand that money is a tool. We don't exist to acquire and amass and amass money. It's a tool for us to achieve our greater things. And our relationship with money might change slightly when we change our mindset around money, which means we don't brought money as a solution for all problems. Rather, we identify the roles of money in helping achieve something greater, and then that way we start to think about money, maybe slightly different. It's a tool or just like a car. I need a car to get from point A to B. It and when I get to point B, that's it. It had the car has done its job. When we think of money that way, it maybe might have a slightly different relationship when you but I understand that if you've gone through a really rough patch, it can be very difficult to think of money that way. There's the assumption that when I was going to college, I told my parents I wanted to play soccer professionally, and my parents said, hell no, not in this family. And I was like, so unhappy because my friend went pro and played soccer. But my parents were like, Well, you know, it it all it takes is one injury. Get one injury and your entire career is is destroyed. So we want you to go to college, we want you to study, we want you to get become a doctor. That's that's really the path. And I never understood why they kept doing it. Oh, then I later, as I got older, I understood that, well, they just want it not to be secure financially, right? They just wanted financial security for me. Well, if only they knew that they've raised me in a way that uh regardless of what what what profession I practice, uh I have the values, the habits, and the mindset that's required to have uh enough to take care of myself, which is security that they needed for me. But that's a whole other conversation. So if you've had a rough time financially and you start to make money, uh I don't know if that happens to you, but me earlier in my career, I used to fear that I might lose my money. Like, oh, what if I what if I lost my job and I didn't have so I held on so tightly to money, but today I say to people, I treat money like the way I treat my life, which is I hold tightly yet loosely, all right? Hold tightly yet loosely.

Carlene 38:56

So I guess we have to check out practically the life code. And is it on Amazon? What is there's also e-copy as well, or what?

SPEAKER_01 39:05

It's on Amazon, it's an e-copy, it's everywhere, books are sold, bands and mobile, everywhere.

Carlene 39:11

Okay, and where can we find you online, mister?

SPEAKER_01 39:14

I'm pretty active on social media. Well, take that back these days. Yes, I am on Instagram. I am we've got cracking the lifecoat.com.closed community. Instagram's Babs Fatchison, just send me on the screen, and I'm always happy to connect on Instagram.

Carlene 39:32

So you help others, right, with the strategies, right? So there we have it.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

That's right.

Carlene 39:38

Well, thank you so much, Bab Fachison. I think I messed it up again. Anyways, Babs. That's okay. Thank you for being a guest on Diva Tonight. I'm Carlene, and you can find the book Cracking the Life Code on Amazon or anywhere books are sold. So thank you again.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.

Show Closing And Socials

Carlene 40:00

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 40:01

Thanks for listening to Diva Tonight. Follow us on Instagram at DivaOntheRadio. That's D.Va with two eyes. And don't forget to follow us on TikTok at Diva on the radio for more clips and conversations you'll love. Want to share your thoughts or send us a message? Text us anytime at divatonight.buzzsprout.com. Until next time, stay fabulous.